8.10.2009

To the awesome lady in Park City who couldn't help herself...

Dear Stranger Lady,
Thank you for your input and suggestions on how to properly feed my nearly two month old twins. I will take your ideas (like using a dropper to feed breast milk to my babies and hiring a nanny to take care of my 3 older children so I can solely focus on my new babies) and throw them in the garbage. I appreciate that you "can't believe" that I would feed my babies formula in a bottle, and even though it's none of your business, I want you to know that I'd exhausted all other options and a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. Next time, I won't deliver my breech babies via cesarian because, gasp!!, it isn't "natural" and that's why babies develop thrush. Also, stranger lady, (who has EXCLUSIVELY breast fed all 4 of her children thankyouverymuch), I am so thankful that you were able to let me know that the cures for mastitis and bleeding nipples and thrush are to push forward and pump once per hour and under no circumstances, never, ever give those babies "store bought un-natural" formula.
Sincerely, with much appreciation and sarchasm (which is the only way I know how to deal with uncomfortable situations and totally rude people),
Haley


Photo of twins taken one month ago at their one month mark

43 comments:

More Caffiene, Please said...

Two things:

1. I love that you've got some feisty in you!

2. Maggie looks EXACTLY like you.

and one more,

3. Sure love you!

~j. said...

That lady makes my blood boil. I've met her before, quite a few times. How fortunate that clearly incompetent mothers, such as you and I, have people like HER to direct us along the right path and, most of all, show us what we're doing wrong. Telling people (especially mothers) what they're doing wrong (especially with their own children) ALWAYS helps.

Laura said...

Don't you love all that unwanted advice. I don't think people understand how hard it is to nurse and take care of twins. The first six months in brutal. Ya just have to do what you need to in order to take care of every one.

Jessica said...

SERIOUS eye roll. Toss those ridiculous comments. I had a woman tell me that she couldn't understand why I would pump and bother with cleaning bottles when I could just breast feed my babies. Like it was THAT easy.

Anonymous said...

WOW... People and the things they say (Stupid People)

M.C. said...

Oh Haley I love you! And I can't stand people who think they know what is best for other people they hardly know-- and their children. You're awesome and all of your kids are so lucky!

A and R said...

uuugg.
what is the matter with people?!
(and so the comments begin).

Lindsey Lee said...

Yes!!! You go girlfriend. Ive been waiting for this.
Ps- seriously, what kind of mother are you?

Brenna LaPray said...

That picture is so amazing! I just love it. I wish I would have taken a picture each month to see how they changed.
Don't you just love the positive remarks you get from people? You just do whatever works for You and you will do fine. Formula saved my life!! Yeah!!! You've made it two months. Life improved for me after three months and it keeps getting better. Good Job Haley!

wendysue said...

Ugh, I will just repeat what I've heard Mrs. LVC say many a time. . ."there are no gold medals awarded."

Seriously, we all make it through any way we can!!

The Cooks in our Kitchen said...

SERIOUSLY!! I had woman asking ME why I did not try to breast feed my two ADOPTED children... my reply was that I was over the side effects of depression and anxiety that comes with the medication required to do so. People are weird.
Both of my kids have been healthy as can be and even more so I think because of the amazing organic FORMULA I fed them as babies. Keep up the good work Hailey!! You can do it!!

The Cooks in our Kitchen said...

Sorry, I totally spelled your name wrong ;) Haley ;)

Shanna said...

I just love how people feel they have a right to tell someone how to raise their kids. you seem to be doing great Haley. you have beautiful children. I love that picture you posted! So cute!!

missliss5/Melissa said...

Ohhh, for heavens sake. She said ALL that? ALLLLLLLL that????? I don't know how you handled it without screaming outloud instead of just inside. I'll bet you were so glad when she left and you could pick up the phone and tell someone you love and would laugh out loud with you all about it. What a nervy lady. Talk about stepping out of line. Hugs to you and your beautiful babies. They are lucky to have youl.

Susan said...

I tried to breast feed my first for one week, and it was the worst week of my life! If there's a great alternative out there, what a blessing! Personally, I think formula is a true godsend. And, after having tried it, I can't believe people are nutty enough to breastfeed! (Hope I don't offend those who love it.) It's just definitely NOT for everyone. :)

Amanda said...

oh my gosh! i am laughing my butt off right now! the nerve some people have! i formula fed both of my kids and they perfectly healthy. thanks for posting this! it made my day :)

ashlee said...

i love you haley! tell it like it is! that's so great! i am so sick of the nursing nazi talk! you do what ya gotta do to survive!

shelby said...

Ok first of all hahahahahaha! Great job for putting her in her place! What you do is up to you, and obviously you have done a great job, people are so dumb, and need to keep their "holyier then thou" mouths shut!!!

Brooke said...

you go Haley! I had a really hard time feeding Rossi formula at 3 1/2 months because of people just like that. But he thrived more on formula then my breast milk. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do to keep her children happy and healthy and it's not always the same as what other mothers do. Your doing great!

l.g. mcfifi said...

what a dumb ass-

the twins look great!

Amanda said...

Oh, I love you Haley!! and miss you!!!

Leah said...

Nursing twins is the hardest thing I have ever done. SERIOUSLY...I would have told her off....your littles are too precious...hope you are hanging in there...You do what is best for your family....loved reading your words...

paige said...

I was secretly wishing you would be a better mother too. I'm glad some lady put you in your place. But seriously, who are these people????

Are you playing single mom now? Let's get together, I mean it!

Marilyn said...

Oh goodness...people just make me laugh. I couldn't breastfeed my baby and I had a lady lecture me about it and tell me she hoped for my sake we didn't have a natural disaster in case I didn't have formula in my food storage. People are so dumb! And I loved the pic. Your babies are adorable!

Heather Telford said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

I'll bet you're dad can beat up her dad.....your awesome!!!! Tell it like it is.

Kara said...

I love that your dad totally is going to kick her trash for you! LOVE IT! I however think that you are amazing beautiful talented mother and I love you! Breast feeding your babies or not! I think you should of thrown your bottle at her like they do in the movies! It would of rocked!

The Garcia's said...

Your babies are beautiful! I just went through 4 horrible days of trying to breastfeed my new little one and decided that since he wasn't eating and I was in excruciating pain that a bottle would be best and WE couldn't be happier! (Well I will be happier when I can get rid of my milk!) I can't wait to meet your sweet babies!

Heather Jeppsen said...

Cute picture of the babes. If it wasn't for formula, my first baby would be dead. I tried nursing and almost killed him because I didn't know I had no milk and I was killing him. I hate feeling like it's the worst thing that I don't nurse. All my sister-in-laws nurse the whole time and love it. I'm sorry (no I'm not) that I can't. After going through that with my first one, I can't bring myself to try it again. After I had my second one, a male pediatrition came in and had the nerve to tell me after every baby it was different and I should try it again. It's no ones buisness what you decide. So keep your mean comments to your self mean mothers that are saints because they can produce milk! You should have just told here to take a hike (put nicely). Sorry so many people are so rude and can't keep their mouths shut! I'm done.

A&K Sanft said...

Haley-- I had some serious "crippled nipples" for almost 2weeks with Manaia then mastitis almost every week after that for the first 2 months; it was easily worse than the pregnancy and delivery combined. I can't beleive I made it through. Anyway, I truly beleive you're a super hero to have twins and be doing so well. Just be proud of yourself and try not to get discouraged. Best "advice" I ever got was in "Babywise"; it's my baby bible. Kinda controversial but I swear by it's principles. Best of luck to you...Kim Sanft

April said...

You're doing an amazing job! I have just one son older than my twins, not three and hey, at least their all being fed, freak! Your twins are beautiful!!! My favorite is when gross strangers come up to my six month old twins and grab their hands and feet...which then goes right in their mouth. Honestly, if all of us tell them off, maybe all the know it all mothers will get the picture one day!

Kelli Nicole said...

WOW. I am so sorry there are people out there that feel like it's their job to tell you you're a horrible mother. I am one of those people that is very pro-breastfeeding (for ME), but I would NEVER judge someone for doing something differently, especially with 5 kids and twins! Holy cow, I can't believe someone had the gall to say something like that to you. Maybe she has a social disorder. Your twins are adorable!! (I'm a twin so I may be a little partial, but they really are darling).

Haley said...

Thanks for all your feisty comments and for making me feel better! It really was no big deal and didn't even make me too upset because this woman didn't realize that I am also pro breastfeeding and breastfed all 3 of my other kids, but this time wasn't working out and that's OKAY! Whew.

marykaye said...

Hey-i stumbled on to your blog a while back bc of your lovely photography and then kept up bc i have a 7 yr old, a 5 yr old a 2 year old and 1 year old twins (they were born about a year before yours) I just wanted to tell you that i think you are doing so great and it will get easier (i think!) I hate to tell you that those lame comments will probably come again cuz their are some really clueless people out there (and you'll hear "You've sure got your hands full" about a gazillion times) but i'm sure you'll handle it all with the grace and loveliness you exude in your blog...Best Wishes to you and those sweet babies(all 5)!!!

Kristen Duke Photography said...

wow, I seriously can't believe people would offer up that much input/suggestions on how to mother "correctly" I like how you handled it--at least here:)

Betina said...

Well, if it makes you feel any better, 3 of my 4 children were exclusively bottle fed. Eden is now 7 and she has actually learend to read and write despite the toxic formula she was fed. Amazing but true.

I do think you should hire a nanny, though. So should I. And a housekeeper. Did she recommend a housekeeper? She should have.

DeweesClan said...

Just wanted to say that I linked on your blog from a post that Stephanie did of your sister. I was interested bc I too run marathons. Then I just kept clicking and found your photography site! I love photos!! and yours are fabulous! But most importantly, thanks for being just what I needed to see today. A mom of 5 young children making it with graciousness and loving it. I had my last baby while my husband was in Iraq with a 1&2 year olds. I must say I have been scared to have another. My baby is almost 2 and seeing your family just put a smile on my face. You are a strong mother and provide a great example to what families can be and being open to God's gifts. Thank you for that. Next time, smile at stranger lady and tell her that you've got it covered, but if she needs any help (since she after all does have it all figured out) you got plenty of time and extra hands to help her out :)!! Courtney

The Moody Tree said...

i hope you don't mind me commenting, i am friends with your sister...so i like looking at your blog, hope it's not weird. anyway, both of my babies were formula/bottle fed and i can't tell you how many nasty comments i've gotten...someone even said the exact words "shame on you" and i just had to bare and grin it. i'm pretty sure i'm not going to hell... bless your heart for enduring that woman's lecture. i think you are an amazing mother. good luck!

L'erin said...

That Bittly can suck it. How self centered. Clearly she didnt get the memo that you are the chick/mom to be. I feel bad for her small, small brain. And because it feels good, just one more time, i'd like to tell her again, To Suck It.

Holly Park said...

Boooo! Everyone has an opinion. And BTW, NICU had us fortifying my breastmilk with (gasp) formula b/c apparently breastmilk doesn't have everything baby needs...hmmm, maybe some people don't know everything?! I give you props for trying--for heaven's sake you've got 5 kids!

Holly Park said...

BTW, the pic of your wee ones is A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E.

Joanie said...

Hi, I am a friend of Denise Pickering ;she sent me over to your blog. (Great photos by the way)

About nosy ladies... next time, say kindly, thank you and walk away mid sentence.

I have twins (now 24 years!) and even thought I could nurse my other 4 children without too much problem I was so exhausted with twins and a 21 month old that I just couldn't make it work.

As my mother-in-law would have said, "Twins is not joke!"

Best of luck to you...

Deb said...

I have never been to your blog before today and when I saw this post I had to comment. I had twins 20 months ago and went through all that same stuff. I tried my best to breastfeed and thrush happened, then one baby wasn't nursing as good etc. Then I breastfed a machine for a month and decided I would rather spend my time with my kids instead of hooked to a machine. Once I made that decision and went to formula my life got a little easier and a bit less stressful, just a little bit I still had twin newborns! I love getting advice from people with no clue. Good luck with everything.